Uganda Goes Nuts

Some psychologist will one day write a great book, if they haven't already, as to why anti-gay people tend to use such bizarre rhetoric to make their points. After chapter 1. "But then people will start marrying sheep!!", we have the Red Pepper Newspaper which is currently leading a particularly revolting anti-gay witch hunt in Uganda. What they've been doing is printing photos of gays and lesbians, with their addresses, and encouraging readers to track them down in order "to prevent them from “polluting” the general population." Nice, eh? The police in Jina, the second largest city in Uganda, have been similarly hunting gays and lesbians, with full support of the President Yoweri Museveni, and his brother Salim Saleh.

So, this is all depressing and barbaric. But, check out this weirdo rhetoric from the newspaper:

"We are talking about men in this nation who are walking closely in the footsteps of Sir Elton Hercules John and the like by having engines that operate from the rear like the vintage Volkswagon cars."

Okay, so the first question is: They do know that Elton John is not a car, right? And the first analogy that came to their mind was with a Volkswagon? And what in the world does that mean: "engines that operate from the rear"? Does that apply to the pitcher as well as the catcher? Would a pitcher be compared to a Ford? Or maybe a pickup truck that has rear-ended a Volkswagon? Or should they just say that gays are like "The degenerate Western Herbie 'the Love Bug' who enjoys having things put into his tail-pipe." But, again, what the hell does that have to do with Elton John? And they also have targeted lesbians, whose sex organs are more in the middle, so I'm guessing that they could be compared to motorcycles. Actually, Dykes on Bikes would perhaps appreciate that. But, what about women who recieve anal sex? Are they more like Vespas? Would a bisexual be called a 'hybrid'? Let's not even get into what 'carjacking' could possibly mean. And is masturbation like 'pumping one's own gas'?

The paper goes on about "how fast the terrible vice known as sodomy is eating up our society". So, now the police are on anus surveillance, and the papers are waxing vacant about "men who enjoy taking on fellow men from the rear." In other words, a bunch of Ugandan assholes are overly concerned with Ugandan assholes. Ugh.